So guess who got to decide who's been naughty or nice? Yup, yours truly. Had about 50 kids ages 8 months to 6 years all around me, giddy as hell, waiting for me to call out their name and give them a present. The smiles, the happy faces, the scared faces, the believing faces, it was all good.
I got driven up in a car (wearing a seatbelt of course, must set the good example) waving out the window and ho ho ho-ing. Kids gathering around getting all excited as I got out with my bag of presents. Felt like a celebrity, decked out in a wicked beard and costume, snazzy pillow belly to boot.
Sitting in a throne (what I call it, others might say chair), I was handed presents for each of the kids by my elves (flatmate Hannah and her coworker) and called out their names. Talk about having people's attention, all the parents and kids waiting for the name to be called out, pretty darn cool. Got some compliments on how Santa didn't sound like just a typical Kiwi, but rather international, perhaps from the north pole. At least the northern hemisphere and like he sounds in movies.
All was good, kids were happy, presents were opened and then there was just the one kid right in front of me, super eager the whole time and it turned out he didn't have a present while every other kid did. He was the brother of one of the kids at the school, and all the siblings only got presents if the parents brought one. Turned out they didn't and little Max had a big pout cause he wasn't leaving til Santa gave him a present. Lovely. At that time, Santa was thanked and escorted out leaving the parents (who didn't get him the present in the first place) to deal with the kiddo. More waves and happiness on the exit, a quick change in the car and I was back to being the sex symbol I am.
Good times, good times, giving happiness to one and all. Now I'm packing the bags and getting ready to head up to the northern hemisphere to a little country called the USA for a thing we call a White Christmas. Better get me some snow, none of this cold, cloudy, shite weather. Want the real deal and looking forward to seeing every member of my family that's currently in the US.